It is officially time to step out of my comfort zone. I’m
an aspiring small business owner and I have continuously held myself back
because of my fear of failure. Not knowing what to do has also held me back to
getting started. Knowledge is attainable if you put some effort into getting
it. I lackluster my way to finding out what I need to do but I never act on it.
I’m an entrepreneur at heart with no credentials to my name. I’d like to think
I have what it takes to make things happen. Heroin has held me back for so long
and I was able to use that as an excuse. Now that the heroin is gone; what is
holding me back?
I’m venturing out of my comfort zone and doing things I
never have done before. I’ve been tenaciously looking for a job in the
information technology sector but have had little to no success. My ideal job
hasn’t jumped out to me yet and people keep telling me that I need to slow down
a little bit and focus on my recovery. Financial instability pressures me into
taking on this responsibility early in my recovery but I feel I am ready to
tackle anything. That is the exact mentality I need to have.
I have a business idea that I have found a niche in that
I know I will excel at. It is something I haven’t really done before but the
past has proven that I am pretty good at what I put my mind to. I’m not necessarily
bragging but rather positively reinforcing the fact that this is the mentality
I need to have. I’ve been told numerous times that my ego needs to be deflated;
and yes at times it does. However, I don’t see it as ego so much as confidence.
At the same time I try and be humble. Is that even possible?
Humility is the driving success of my recovery right now.
I stop being teachable the moment I stop being humble. I’d rather be happy than
right; that wasn’t always the case. Arguing for the sake of arguing is no
longer prevalent. I don’t convince you that you are wrong just because I want
to be right even when I know I’m wrong. Are you picking up what I’m laying down?
I am very anxious but nervous at the same time in getting
this venture started. Can I really do it? I won’t know unless I try. I’d rather
fail at something then not know if I can do it. I don’t take that mentality
into my sobriety. I used to but I can’t afford to be hard headed anymore. I use
others’ experience as a way to pave my life today. I’ve been surrounding myself
with “winners” and I’m starting to notice myself act differently and treat
people with respect and dignity. At least I try my best at the time to do so.
That’s all I can do. If I only can give 30% of effort that day, I will give
100% of my effort into that 30%.
Good ideas are just ideas if they aren’t acted upon. Dreams
come true when you act on your ideas. If I fail then I know what not to do. If
I succeed then my dreams might come true. Sobriety makes this possible.