Adjustment is difficult

Creating something from nothing is no easy task. Sobriety in a way is starting something without much substance and turning it into something that has the ability to blossom into something beautiful. I know this is the beginning but adjustment from where I was to where I am now has been very difficult. In my active addiction instant gratification was the way of life. If I wanted something then I had to have it right then and there. If it wasn't attainable then I would focus on something that was. Now I don't have that luxury because good things and even better things take time to develop. I don't have much right now but I am grateful for what I do have. I have people that believe in not only me as a person but my potential as well. They have given me the ability to believe in myself. I never did when I was using. I always knew I had potential to do great things but I always sabotaged everything and anything I had going for myself. Why? I don't know but I no longer feel the need to sabotage what it is I want to accomplish. I see myself growing every day and although I might take a step back every now and then I see myself learning from those experiences as before I didn't. I see the consequences before they happen and I adapt accordingly. I take the necessary steps to create the least collateral damage possible and it begins with me. I need to take care of myself before I can take care of anyone else. In doing so - I see that it can take care of them as well. Today I see how my actions affect others and I stay resilient to the fact that I am not perfect today; nor will I ever be. Perfect is boring - perfect is nothing more than an illusion we set for ourselves. I'm having difficulty being patient in letting things take course and not forcing them. In due time it will come to fruition and that is what is guiding me right now.