Never say you'll try...say you will.

Overcoming addiction is like climbing Mount Everest without oxygen. Few people accomplish it but the thing is people can accomplish it. Seeing light at the end of the tunnel for any addict is like wearing a blindfold in the dark. The thing that is most difficult is taking off that blindfold and putting yourself in an environment where there is light.

I've tried so many times at getting clean and have failed continuously. So much failure gives someone no hope that there is a better way of life; that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I can proudly say that I do finally see that light that I've been yearning to see for so long. I may only have 5 months and change of clean time but my thinking has strayed from thinking heroin is the only way to escape reality.

Reality is what two or more people perceive to be real. My reality for so long was that heroin was the end all be all for coping with my feelings. Addicts tend to be more sensitive towards almost everything and I definitely fit in that category. Why? I don't know but it's just who I am. I feel for not only myself but for everyone around me.

When I am using heroin I don't think about how my actions not only affect myself but others as well. I'm blind to the reality that people who care about me are hurting because they don't know if I will be there to celebrate Christmas, their birthday, or even just a "How are you doing?" phone call. I didn't care about what other people are feeling because my feelings are numb when I have heroin flowing through my veins.

I'm so grateful today as to where I am at in my recovery. I've let so many people down with empty and fruitless promises that I didn't even believe myself when I did promise someone something. I promised things I knew I couldn't do; or thought I couldn't do at the time. I know today I can accomplish and do anything I want to. Nothing is holding me back except myself.

Following through with what I say I'll do is very big for me today. I don't want to tell someone I will do something and then not do it. That sets me up for having it done to me. You get what you give in this world and today I believe it.

Setting myself up for success has been truly challenging because I've had to rely on others to support me through this time. I've had to build a foundation within myself and take what I've had to take in order to succeed. I am overly grateful that people have helped set me up for success even though I've burned them so many times. Today I care about not letting them down and especially not letting myself down.

I have so much to offer to people that I know I can be an asset to anyone I cross paths with. I know I can make a difference today by setting the right example. But I can only lead by example. I can't force anything upon anyone. I can only control myself in this universe and slowly but surely I'm learning to control myself to success.