Happy Thanksgiving!

What really is Thanksgiving? To me, it is the culmination of sharing the day with your loved ones and stuffing your faces with so much food you can't stay awake afterwards. The latter has been my most favorite part in the past but today the former is what drives me.

Time and time again I haven't been able to appreciate the things I otherwise would take for granted. For instance - my family. I lost my family and my family almost lost me the the succumbing side effects of heroin addiction. When you are under the influence you don't take the time to think about how your actions affect others, especially the people closest to you. You act selfishly not because you want to but because you stop caring - about everything and everyone.

Caring to me was a feeling and feeling was something I didn't want to do. My coping mechanism for so long was to stick a needle in my arm and I thought that was happiness. But today I have experienced true happiness and it has never felt better.

 I have been in a rehabilitation program the last three months and it was by far the most difficult thing I have ever had to do up to this point in my life. I've been running from my past but this program didn't let me continue to do that. It made me confront my past among other things and I am truly grateful for it. Making the decision to go to a rehab that I despised only 6 years ago turned out to be the the best decision of my life.

 I wish I could explain everything I got out of the program but I wouldn't have enough space. This wasn't your traditional 12-step program and I didn't think it would work for me; boy was I wrong. A common sense guide to living was the premise. It teaches you things that I wish I had learned when I was younger - maybe I wouldn't have had to endure all the pain and misery I put myself through these past 10 years but I wouldn't change it for the world. It has turned me into the man I am today and although I am a little rough around the edges I have hope today. I have hope that I can live a life of happiness and I dictate that today. I can make the right choice and determine my future. I can do this.